Mark Myers Expert Answer to: I Am Addicted to Marijuana and Want to Stop."

From your description, you have two issues you are dealing with, depression and dependency on Marijuana. Both of those issues should be considered. There is a likelihood, they both may be contributing to each other, creating a feedback loop. If you are depressed you could enjoy the escape that comes from the high. The residual effects of the pot use leave you feeling lethargic, unmotivated, and in a "fog", which contribute to feeling depressed. more

My answer to: How do you cope with depression when the cause is your life is stagnant with problems with no solution.......

There are different ways a person may become depressed. It could develop can come from life situations(chronic unemployment, unhappy marriage), events(death of loved one, divorce), or from physiological origins (genetics, chemistry). Sometimes it could be a combination of one or all of the above. Just as depressive symptoms could develop differently, eliminating depressive symptoms could be approached using different courses of actions.

4-20 and Cannabis use

Today is April 20th. This day takes on special significance for individuals immersed in Cannabis use . It is used to identify oneself with Cannabis use culture. 420(pronounced four-twenty) is based on the number as well as the event. Although that are different beliefs of it’s origins, the most consistent theory is the term was first used by a group of teenagers in California. Their designated hang out was a wall outside their school. The term was used for the time of day that they would indulge in marijuana use. The term has evolved into a counterculture holiday in North America, where people gather to celebrate and consume cannabis. The term is used also as code to disguise dialogue from those who do not smoke marijuana.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: Why is saying "I'm sorry" a sign of weakness to some?

Apologies, are not a sign of weakness. In fact it takes courage and confidence to acknowledge you did something to warrant an apology. Humans make mistakes. Admission of error(s) acknowledges that you are taking responsibility for your actions. This demonstrates to others(employees, children etc.) good role modeling.

A codependancy issue: Engaging in addictive dialogue

Addicts enjoy the the feeling of getting high, weather it be drugs or alcohol. They also enjoy the function it may serve(feeling more comfortable in social settings, enjoying the escape, etc.). It is safe to say that a good portion of addicts would continue to use if outside influences(family, legal, employment)didn't make it more uncomfortable for them to use. The impact of their use must outweigh the benefits derived from their use, otherwise there would be no incentive to stop.

Family members forget this when they are discussing their significant others substance use. They allow themselves to engage in an addictive dialogue. Addictive dialogue is any discussion that detracts from the dependent's substance use and impact of it. Discussion turns onto other areas, or areas that would hold him/her less accountable. Examples would include: shifting blame("if you didn't nag I wouldn't drink so much."), avoiding accountability("I will not drink as much","I will cut back.") minimizing("I know plenty of people who drink more.) or other misdirections. The more gray area an addict can create in the discussion about their use, the more likelihood they can continue to use. Family members could get more focused on the discussion and avoid addressing the actual use.

It is important to not allow subjectivity to be a factor in addressing use. This would especially hold true if the subjectivity is the addicted persons. Shift more of a focus on measurable or objective discussions. An example would be an addict saying they will be cutting back. That is a gray area. Cutting back how much? If someone is drinking a case a beer a day, forty beers a day is cutting back. A statement such as "I will not drink at all" is more realistic to gauge. Another example is discussing the belief about legalization of marijuana with an adolescent detracts from discussing his or her using. If as a parent you do not want your youth using mind altering drugs, the legalization of it is irrelevant. Stay in a black or white focus. The clearer you are in your expectations, the easier it will be for the addict or alcoholic to stay on track. Once you start engaging in a addictive dialogue, the greater the chance the addicted person will be less accountable for their actions.

6 Tips for Better Facebook Parenting

Recently, many people chimed in about the “Laptop Shooting Dad‘s” reaction to his 15-year-old daughter’s Facebook posts. Not only is the subject of social media parenting popular, but his stunt has surpassed 30 million views on YouTube.

While it’s evident that we live in a country of extremes — parents who use guns to make a point vs. parents that find this version of parenting horrific — the bottom line is that we all struggle to find the right balance when helping our kids through their tumultuous teen years.

During a recent #theonlinemom Twitter chat, nearly 400 parents weighed in with what they believed to be fitting alternatives to shooting nine bullets through a laptop. For instance:

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: "I'm overwhelmed and tired these days, and never seem to have time to take care of myself. I'm also low on social contact, as my responsibilities are intense. Can anyone offer ideas on how to break out of this box?"

"My situation includes being (temporarily) a single mother to two mentally ill children, a financial crisis, a husband in rehab and a lack of relatives to help with the above. Eeek."
There appears to be more demands on you then resources. Lets start with your children. Depending on the ages of your children and the mental health issues they are experiencing, getting support in this area is extremely important.