Teaching Your Impulsive Child Self Control

1. Catch your child exerting self-control and reward him or her with positives “Great job!” “You rock!” “I really like the way you...” “You should be proud of yourself for the way you...” Make behaving appropriately a positive experience...one that your child will want to repeat. 2. Anticipate trouble zones. Are there predictable times when you know your child generally has trouble controlling his or her impulses? Time the time to prepare your child for these situations. Explain what will happen, who will be there, and specifically the behavior you want to see (ie. We’re going to Grandma’s for a party and all of your aunts, uncles, and cousins will be there. I know you get excited to see them, but you need to stay calm, talk politely, and play nicely with your cousins. Please do not run in the house or be rough with your cousins. If you can do this, we can stop for a special treat on the way home.) 3. Develop Routines. The impulsive child needs structure to function well. Providing a predictable routine at home, as much as possible provides the needed predictability 4. Give warning when you are getting close to a transition. Give warnings when you are getting close to a transition. Allow a ten minute warning warning and give reminders as you get close to a transition time.

Hands On Homework

Hands On Homework Help for Parents Homework is often a source of anxiety and struggle for parents, particularly if your child resists homework. Providing a structure to the homework process can be very helpful. Here are some helpful tips: 1. Create a routine – There are many opinions about what works best, but know your child and develop a homework routine that works for you. If you are able, encourage your child to get homework done right away after school so they have as much play and relaxation time as possible. If your child needs to blow off steam after school or you pick him or her up from daycare, have them do homework after some play time. Limit the time and give your child an opportunity to transition when he or she has to stop playing. 2. Have a specific location for completing homework - with all of the supplies your child will need to complete their work. 3. Do a backpack check for any important papers or to check for assignments. Ask questions about what you find. This information will help you understand how your child is feeling about school and the work that must be done. 4. Break it down – If your child has a lot of homework, help him or her break it down into smaller, more manageable bits. It may be helpful to offer a five-minute movement break between tasks if your child has difficulty keeping focused. 5. What worked for you may not work for your child – Understand that you and your child may be wired differently. You will have to tweak the routine based on your child’s individual needs. If you were a “get your work done right after school” type of kid and your child is a “blow off steam” kind of kid, allow that adjustment. You’ll find that if you consider your child’s temperament, the homework process will be less painless. 6. Minimize distractions – Keep the television and video games off during homework time. It splits focus and makes homework take longer. This can lead to stress and frustration. 7. Save the reading for right before bedtime – Use reading as one to one wind down time with you. As your child becomes more independent in their reading, grab a book and read alongside your child. Adults need a little wind down time too. 8. Finally, avoid the power struggle, not the homework – Encourage your child and celebrate when they get their homework done. Try to focus on what they have accomplished and not what they are not doing right. If he or she needs to redo or add to their work, off the feedback as constructively as possible. If you find yourself getting frustrated, step away for a minute. Manage your emotions before returning to help your child.

6 Tips for Better Facebook Parenting

Recently, many people chimed in about the “Laptop Shooting Dad‘s” reaction to his 15-year-old daughter’s Facebook posts. Not only is the subject of social media parenting popular, but his stunt has surpassed 30 million views on YouTube.

While it’s evident that we live in a country of extremes — parents who use guns to make a point vs. parents that find this version of parenting horrific — the bottom line is that we all struggle to find the right balance when helping our kids through their tumultuous teen years.

During a recent #theonlinemom Twitter chat, nearly 400 parents weighed in with what they believed to be fitting alternatives to shooting nine bullets through a laptop. For instance:

Taming temper tantrums: Are you doing it wrong?

Research shows that 70 percent of children throw temper tantrums, according to parenting expert Michele Borba.

Wait, what? Who are these 30 percent of calm children, and where can I get one?

Focus on the Behavior, Not the Argument

A parent's job is to teach, guide, direct, and protect their children. At times, this job

description may require different actions on a parent's part when it comes to addressing the needs of their child. For example, if a child is staying out past curfew that would be a directing moment(when to come home and what consequences will be if late) more than a teaching moment(explaining the dangers and problems of staying out late). Furthermore, the longer the discussion goes on about the why it is important to obey curfew, the longer the child will feel this expectation is negotiable. Children do not have to agree with a rule, just understand the need to follow it. The longer you get caught up in the argument, the less effective you will be in addressing the behavior.

FAMILY LIFELINES: Handling parenting stress

We are all living with stress in our lives. Stress is the reaction we have to a situation presented to us. We need some stress in our lives. Positive stress is what gets us up and going every day. Some stress works positively for us by providing the extra energy to help us work through our ...

10 Ways Parents Can Calm Their Children

1. Head off situations before they happen.

2. Pull your child aside before momentum reaches a point of no return.

3. Offer consequences if behavior continues.

4. Use distraction.

5. Remove child from situation.

6. Plan ignored behavior.  Do not reinforce acting out attention seeking behavior.

7. Catching child doing it right way and reinforcing it, can give child a reference point to work from

8. Mange your own anger. If your anger escalates it may be difficult for your child to control his/hers.

9. Role modeling.

10. Develop routines supportive of a calm environment.