tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12368312871820927592024-02-19T10:53:50.734-06:00Myers Counseling Group SolutionsMyers Counseling Group "Solutions" blog offers insight and information about the mental health community. Due to client confidentiality I do not offer comments section but feel free to email me with feedback.Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comBlogger229125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-45442172685954480552013-07-22T10:49:00.000-05:002013-07-22T10:49:00.378-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer to: What should I do if I cannot stop thinking about the fact that a friend I made recently talks to other people too?Mark Myers expert answer to: What should I do if I cannot stop thinking about the fact that a friend I made recently talks to other people too?
<a href="http://www.quora.com/Friendship/What-should-I-do-if-I-cannot-stop-thinking-about-the-fact-that-a-friend-I-made-recently-talks-to-other-people-too">View answer:</a>
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<br /></div>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-74127023324149524272013-07-08T09:24:00.000-05:002013-07-08T09:24:00.042-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer(selective Mutism)Mark Myers Expert Answer to: I have a son who had selective mutism from 6-8 years. He is now 16 and has been diagnosed with OCD. He also appears to be suffering from severe depression. Are these linked?
Selective Mutism, as you may well know, is predominately found in children. However, some adults do experience it as well. This disorder is characterized by a person persistently failing to speak in select settings, which continues for more than 1 month. These individuals do talk to other people, usually family members.
The diagnosis of Selective Mutism, does fall under the anxiety disorder spectrum. This spectrum would also include OCD. In fact, it is not unusual for OCD, or other types of anxiety disorders to coexist with Selective Mutism. It also does put a person at greater risk to develop other anxiety disorders later in life. <a href="http://www.quora.com/Mark-Myers-3">view full answer</a>
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<br /></div>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-8743538389660372412013-04-28T11:13:00.000-05:002013-04-28T11:13:14.091-05:00Top Ten Tips To Improve Focus <b>Top 10 Tips To Improve Focu</b>s
Creativity and thought require uninterrupted focus. This is difficult to accomplish in our world of instant communication and distraction. Here are some strategies to maximize your ability to focus.
1. Turn your cell phone to silent. Even if you plan to let your cell phone go to voicemail or set it to vibrate, that minor distraction can interrupt your train of thought.
2. Limit your access to Social Media. Twitter, Facebook, etc. can draw you in and next thing you know, an hour has passed. By limiting those instant distractions, you create less of a chance that your attention will be pulled away from the activities you need to accomplish.
3. Close your email and turn alerts to silent. You can set aside time to deal with email at a different time. Instant access to your attention prevents sustained concentration.
4. Don’t go there. If the Internet offers a distraction and is not part of your task that needs to be accomplished, do not open that tab in the first place. We can also become lost in searching the cyber-universe that we lose focus.
5. What distracts you? It’s important to know what your triggers you to be distracted. Is it the television, the kids, the pets, the computer, etc? Set up your environment to manage the distractions.
6. Multitasking could be an issue. Many people pride themselves on their ability to multitask, however, when you multitask none of the tasks on which you are working get your full attention. This slows the process and interrupts the ability to fully concentrate.
7. Manage worry and stress. Stress interferes with our ability to focus on the important. Take some time to relax, clear your mind, make a list of the things that are competing for your attention and choose one to attack first. By prioritizing our responsibilities, we take control of the things we can control and recognize the parts of our situation that must be addressed at another time.
8. Develop good sleep habits. Difficulty sleeping can drain our ability to concentrate.
9. Put procrastination on the back burner. Do you have to clean your house before you focus on something? Update your filing system? You may be procrastinating. Break your task into small bite sized pieces. Start by spending 15 minutes on each bite sized piece. If you can fit two bites into one 15-minute period, more power to you! After you complete each step, choose a quick reward (a stretch, a walk around the room, a glass of water), then return to work for another 15-minute bite.
10. Stay hydrated and keep a snack handy. Thirst and hunger can interfere with our ability to remain focused. Especially, around 2 or 3pm, many people experience a drop in blood sugar that can make it difficult to concentrate. A small protein packed snack should perk you right up and improve your ability to focus.
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Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-34848351141088203372013-04-16T10:48:00.000-05:002013-04-16T10:48:00.962-05:00Dealing With A Job Loss<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJl71lZmrlyBdfWrJrd6ogDTuelyu0NSukuEPOjgWXh5FGULKzcLW8pe-n_kAGEp5tA78hzFr-sf93FuLyhtnXo8KELpjjWTKZAuJ2mq7liWV1dUEUKYaFyfaW9u6KFEo4bBJzP4FFlSU/s1600/job-loss.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJl71lZmrlyBdfWrJrd6ogDTuelyu0NSukuEPOjgWXh5FGULKzcLW8pe-n_kAGEp5tA78hzFr-sf93FuLyhtnXo8KELpjjWTKZAuJ2mq7liWV1dUEUKYaFyfaW9u6KFEo4bBJzP4FFlSU/s320/job-loss.jpg" /></a> In the top five list of life stressors is the loss of a job. When a job loss occurs whether it is expected or unexpected, it shakes your confidence. Statistics indicate that according to 2010 US Census data 36.1 of people who completed the Census experienced a job loss in the years between 2005-2007. That is over 1/3 of the workers the United States who participated in the census. The unemployed collected 116 billion dollars in 2011. Suffice it to say, job loss is not an unusual situation in our current economy. How do we deal with this loss in a way that is healthy and productive?
1. Finish Strong – At times, even after you have been notified of a job loss, you must continue to function in that environment. Conduct yourself with integrity and finish strong. You may be hurt and/or angry about the job loss, but try to remember that the people around us are not usually involved your losing your job. Try to remember how you would want to be treated by others if they lost a job. It is tempting to act out in anger if you feel wronged, but choose the high road. Let that be the memory they carry of you.
2. Take Control of the Things You Can – Losing a job causes a loss of our sense of control over our environment. Use this as an opportunity to catch up on things that must be done at home. Send resumes, write letters, and seek Unemployment if you are entitled to it.
3. Manage your emotions – You will be experiencing a great deal of stress during this time, be kind to yourself. It is tempting to act out in anger, but talk to people you trust and respect. Use relaxation strategies to maintain your composure, and take a break if you need it.
4. Reach out – Make contact with people who know you well, who can support you during this tough time.
5. Think about the job loss and learn from the situation. Do you need a new type of job? Do you need different or more effective skill? This is a good time to educate yourself about advances in your field.
6. Update your resume - If you plan to seek employment elsewhere, take some time to update your resume, get letters of recommendation.
7. Make a plan – Use the Internet to search for job openings in your field. Send out lots of resumes and cover letters. Keep track of these and follow up with a phone call in two or three days.
8. Use interviews as learning experiences – Each employer may be looking for something different, but as you practice your interview skills, you will become more confident which will make you more marketable.
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<br /></div>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-37174669674794027822013-04-12T10:40:00.000-05:002013-04-12T10:40:20.453-05:00Sleep Tips<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTCKe1Bth6z370aNOXCyNoDGYOirQPrltu0jhRLyptxTdNTozXuIBnCmkdboM20HtdzIeLSSpH8PdE1V1tpUv5rcH72-vZmcfsXQb7aw2MRcVHD7BM0N-wDCdxm0J-_6RXygQB9anqT8Y/s1600/th.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTCKe1Bth6z370aNOXCyNoDGYOirQPrltu0jhRLyptxTdNTozXuIBnCmkdboM20HtdzIeLSSpH8PdE1V1tpUv5rcH72-vZmcfsXQb7aw2MRcVHD7BM0N-wDCdxm0J-_6RXygQB9anqT8Y/s320/th.jpg" /></a>Sleep…that often, elusive rejuvenating sweet respite. Sleep has been proven to consolidate memories, encourages hormonal balance, restores the immune system, decreases the effects of the days’ stressors, and rebuilds muscle. The consequences of decreased sleep or sleep disorders include cognitive impairment, behavioral and emotional deterioration, hormonal imbalance leading to increased risk of disease including cardiovascular disorders and diabetes. In addition, sleep deprivation causes disruption in the hormones that control appetite, increased levels of cortisol, and other stress hormones which have been established to cause retention of body fat, particularly belly fat.
Here are some suggestions for a good night’s sleep:
1. Start early. One mistake that people make is staying up too late. Our bodies and brains begin to wind down naturally around 10pm.
2. Develop a routine. Take a shower, read a book, meditate or pray before bed. These proven stress reducers could help you to have a restful night.
3. Engage in quiet relaxing activities at bedtime. Put aside the electronics. Focusing on phones, computers, television, etc. can disrupt the body’s natural inclination to relax.
4. Comfort is key. Create a comfortable, restful environment. Fo example, if laundry piled to the ceiling stresses you out and you have to see that while going to sleep, it might be helpful to get the laundry put away so you can relax.
5. Cut back on liquids after 8pm to prevent late night trips to the bathroom that is disruptive to sleep.
6. If you have trouble falling asleep, get up. It tends to quickly become an unproductive battle to try to will yourself to sleep. Get up, do something relaxing.
7. Take notice of sleep disruptors in your environment. Does a spouse steal the covers? Is your pet a bed hog? Take steps to minimize these environmental factors.
8. Figure out your optimum sleep temperature. A room that is too cool or too warm may interfere with sleep.
9. Stay away from sleep disruptive substances such as caffeine, nicotine, chocolate, soda, energy drinks, etc.
10. Wake up at the same time everyday. Consistent sleeping and waking times train your brain and your body to gear up or down for the day.
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Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-54529633570494696242013-03-26T11:10:00.000-05:002013-03-26T11:10:00.431-05:00What is RTI?
The “No Child Left Behind” legislation requires schools to provide educational review and assistance for students in general education classes who may struggle or have needs in a particular area. RTI stands for Response to Intervention, a process whereby schools provide assistance to students to enhance and enrich their learning or success in school. <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFn-DnXXX6sKNVWxkiX8DOIYHcRqPnxkgisM-Z203uc9kYytjVpjVdZQmrUD31VOc7X1pFCMOL7HZ7lTWquHxtWiUTWYKANctZ2RY4E43wIvXnLcqwrbc52w2EolDeF2H-LA5gUR50LE0/s1600/school.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiFn-DnXXX6sKNVWxkiX8DOIYHcRqPnxkgisM-Z203uc9kYytjVpjVdZQmrUD31VOc7X1pFCMOL7HZ7lTWquHxtWiUTWYKANctZ2RY4E43wIvXnLcqwrbc52w2EolDeF2H-LA5gUR50LE0/s320/school.jpg" /></a>
RTI generally uses a three tier model like a pyramid. At the bottom of the pyramid is Tier 1. Tier 1 identification and interventions occur in the classroom and may be school wide including differentiated instruction to teach to the strengths of each child including classroom reward systems or incentives to encourage participation or reward skills or behavior that are essential to student growth. Tier 2 interventions are comprised of assistance that may occur outside of the classroom or inside the classroom. These may be group or individually focused based on what may be needed including math or reading pull out groups to assist students in learning skills that will enhance and improve their skills. For students with behavioral or emotional difficulties, this may include participation in a group or individual counseling services at school. Tier 3 or the top of the pyramid usually consists of interventions provided in another context, individual, group, or pull out services or consultation with specialized education personnel to collect data and tailor individualized interventions.
The goal of the educational team at each level is to provide assistance to general education students that will address their identified needs. In addition, collection of data occurs at all levels to assist teachers, staff, and administrators in determining the success of interventions. As a child responds to interventions and strengthens the skills they need to strengthen, they will, over time, have less need for the intervention. Progress is continually monitored by the educational team to ensure that students receive the support they need when they need it and only for as long as it is needed.
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Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-38034464745023653402013-03-21T07:00:00.000-05:002013-03-21T07:00:01.699-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer to: Why do I get agitated by things outside of my control
There are several disclosures that you have made that indicate agitation is not the only issue. Insecurity and unhappiness appear to be issues as well. My guess is that this is something that did not suddenly appear. It most likely was a work in progress. Family history, life experiences, relationships, and your physiological make up all got you to wear you are now. Habits, beliefs, and attitudes have probably been developing for awhile.
The positive(<a href="http://www.quora.com/Mark-Myers-3">click for more)</a>
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<br /></div>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-68274086435614565982013-03-20T02:59:00.000-05:002013-03-20T02:59:10.374-05:00Teaching Your Impulsive Child Self Control1. Catch your child exerting self-control and reward him or her with positives “Great job!” “You rock!” “I really like the way you...” “You should be proud of yourself for the way you...” Make behaving appropriately a positive experience...one that your child will want to repeat.
2. Anticipate trouble zones. Are there predictable times when you know your child generally has trouble controlling his or her impulses? Time the time to prepare your child for these situations. Explain what will happen, who will be there, and specifically the behavior you want to see (ie. We’re going to Grandma’s for a party and all of your aunts, uncles, and cousins will be there. I know you get excited to see them, but you need to stay calm, talk politely, and play nicely with your cousins. Please do not run in the house or be rough with your cousins. If you can do this, we can stop for a special treat on the way home.)
3. Develop Routines. The impulsive child needs structure to function well. Providing a predictable routine at home, as much as possible provides the needed predictability
4. Give warning when you are getting close to a transition. Give warnings when you are getting close to a transition. Allow a ten minute warning warning and give reminders as you get close to a transition time.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZBNpwa6OjXNCMk_pDuq3UxCxBIPwObrnsnWMiZGi9NHuDh9t75ISDZJXcVyR_zcH1goaHVeghrtLOT56tJFnnmLZpfTOPU1f6TRLgGe3iduAUBK4TwlclMMCC1MQClrK2vtXViCAOjcs/s1600/discipline-child.gif" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZBNpwa6OjXNCMk_pDuq3UxCxBIPwObrnsnWMiZGi9NHuDh9t75ISDZJXcVyR_zcH1goaHVeghrtLOT56tJFnnmLZpfTOPU1f6TRLgGe3iduAUBK4TwlclMMCC1MQClrK2vtXViCAOjcs/s320/discipline-child.gif" /></a>
Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-7438720520314253342013-03-11T11:40:00.000-05:002013-03-11T11:40:00.339-05:00Pet Owners and Mental Health<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXJ2_E5u2jmveQUoWQ6Fsa41MtmvSDJ19XLOfg8PjsXcBS8Qw2QCHG658Dal7U_tapie1EL9l4mPwSxI9Mdx1xKrIa9wmcPuxLG8EHSVZS8j1HgUlDZcxV6JT8EaEhyw5TbcUhBytiOLs/s1600/australian-pet-psychic.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXJ2_E5u2jmveQUoWQ6Fsa41MtmvSDJ19XLOfg8PjsXcBS8Qw2QCHG658Dal7U_tapie1EL9l4mPwSxI9Mdx1xKrIa9wmcPuxLG8EHSVZS8j1HgUlDZcxV6JT8EaEhyw5TbcUhBytiOLs/s320/australian-pet-psychic.jpg" /></a>
There is significant research that keeping pets can improve your physical health, but did you also know that caring for pets also improves mental health? A study published by the APA, American Psychological Association, found that pet owners rated themselves as happier, healthier, and better adjusted than non-pet owners. The key element that made the difference was the perception on the part of pet owners that their pets gave them a sense that their social needs were met, a sense of belonging, and higher reported self-esteem. Pets decrease our sense of loneliness or isolation. Also, pets require individuals to step out of their own thoughts and feelings to consider the needs of another being, thus encouraging engagement in the world around you.
McConnell, et. al. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2011, Vol. 101, No. 6, 1239-1252.Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-55342692409385508042013-02-28T10:29:00.000-06:002013-02-28T10:29:00.962-06:00Hands On HomeworkHands On Homework Help for Parents
Homework is often a source of anxiety and struggle for parents, particularly if your child resists homework. Providing a structure to the homework process can be very helpful. Here are some helpful tips:
1. Create a routine – There are many opinions about what works best, but know your child and develop a homework routine that works for you. If you are able, encourage your child to get homework done right away after school so they have as much play and relaxation time as possible. If your child needs to blow off steam after school or you pick him or her up from daycare, have them do homework after some play time. Limit the time and give your child an opportunity to transition when he or she has to stop playing.
2. Have a specific location for completing homework - with all of the supplies your child will need to complete their work.
3. Do a backpack check for any important papers or to check for assignments. Ask questions about what you find. This information will help you understand how your child is feeling about school and the work that must be done.
4. Break it down – If your child has a lot of homework, help him or her break it down into smaller, more manageable bits. It may be helpful to offer a five-minute movement break between tasks if your child has difficulty keeping focused.
5. What worked for you may not work for your child – Understand that you and your child may be wired differently. You will have to tweak the routine based on your child’s individual needs. If you were a “get your work done right after school” type of kid and your child is a “blow off steam” kind of kid, allow that adjustment. You’ll find that if you consider your child’s temperament, the homework process will be less painless.
6. Minimize distractions – Keep the television and video games off during homework time. It splits focus and makes homework take longer. This can lead to stress and frustration.
7. Save the reading for right before bedtime – Use reading as one to one wind down time with you. As your child becomes more independent in their reading, grab a book and read alongside your child. Adults need a little wind down time too.
8. Finally, avoid the power struggle, not the homework – Encourage your child and celebrate when they get their homework done. Try to focus on what they have accomplished and not what they are not doing right. If he or she needs to redo or add to their work, off the feedback as constructively as possible. If you find yourself getting frustrated, step away for a minute. Manage your emotions before returning to help your child.
Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-1595148119328977642012-10-21T19:35:00.001-05:002012-10-21T19:35:59.763-05:00Moment,Relationship, and Death<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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When someone loses a loved one,typically there is going to be an assortment of emotions that person would need to sort through. The common one experienced,of course,is sadness. Another emotion experienced is regret. This emotion could turn to a self defeating belief,which certainly will complicate the grief process.
When an individual passes away, weather sudden or prolonged, the survivor(s) will reflect back on the relationship. Instead of focusing on the relationship as a whole, they would pick a moment in time, usually the last interaction(or close to last)they may have had with the deceased. This moment could be something said or not said or something done or not done. A child may have walked away to take a break and a parent who was terminally ill passed. A couple could have gotten into an argument and the spouse died unexpectantly.
The thoughts that evolve from this could impact on how a person deals with he loss."He dies alone", "This is the last moment we had", "I never said how much she meant to me". These are all passages in time the grieved could dwell on. In reality, there are very few story book closures we can have. If the relationship was significant, true closure may not happen for a time <b>after</b> death. Naturally we want to squeeze every moment we can out of significant relationships. However, it is important to focus on the relationship as a whole. Focusing on a part of it is truly not reflective on the relationship as a whole. One quiz does not make a grade, one report does not make a career, and one interaction does not define the relationship.
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Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-59302751706753605292012-10-16T15:51:00.002-05:002012-10-16T15:52:57.699-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer to:I'm extremely depressed and angry about being unemployed for some time. How do I go on without having a mental breakdown?In today's economy, I am sure you are not alone. There are many people who share your plight. The fear you face is understandable. Individuals could experience the following feelings: worry, unproductive, boredom, self defeated, and pessimistic, to name a few emotions. It is important that you take steps to try to take control over areas of your life that you can. <a href="http://www.quora.com/Mark-Myers-3">Click for more</a>
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<br /></div>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-66167744020180513262012-10-03T06:41:00.000-05:002012-10-03T06:41:45.616-05:00<b>Mark Myers expert answer to:</b> Depression: I keep punishing myself, always doing the opposite of what I should. How can I quit doing this?
There is a self defeating cycle you have gotten yourself into. When you do not accomplish tasks that you like to, you beat yourself up. The more you beat yourself up the less confident you <a href="There is a self defeating cycle you have gotten yourself into. When you do not accomplish tasks that you like to, you beat yourself up. The more you beat yourself up the less confident you">more</a>
Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-81881585413791204222012-09-21T16:13:00.000-05:002012-10-16T15:52:24.744-05:00Genetic Link to Internet Addiction Identified! <a href="http://owl.li/dTYs6 "></a><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Internet addiction is not a figment of the imagination, according to a study published in the Journal of Addiction Medicine. Interestingly, the study also found that the link occurs more frequently in women.
Read more: <a href="http://owl.li/dTYs6">http://www.digitaljournal.com/article/332082#ixzz278nRQWi9 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></a>
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Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-17625173665082434272012-09-20T14:17:00.000-05:002012-10-16T15:52:15.062-05:00Process versus Results<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We are a result driven society. Places of employment, voters, consumers, and within the medical field, look at results as being the measuring stick of success. There are many businesses and government agencies whose sole function is to gauge results of an industry or product. This is the nature of our culture. In addressing issues between two individuals, it is counterproductive if we rely too much on results for measuring success. Obviously we want our efforts to pay off and reach a successful outcome. The challenge is that there are too many variables in place to solely rely on this as a true measuring stick of our efforts.
Examples that come to mind are relationships. When a husband or wife believes their efforts in repairing a relationship are measured by them staying married, this leads to problems. If the husband or wife is involved with someone else, has already checked out of the marriage, or has a drug, alcohol, or mental health problem that impacts on them, the likelihood of them remaining married will be limited. The person is depending on the other person acting on good faith and being of sound mind. In this scenario, and others like it, the outcome will not be to their satisfaction.
This also applies to other areas aside from marriage. An individual I counseled left his place of employment he was at for several years. He left on great terms and kept in touch with his supervisor after he left. After a time, his former supervisor offered him a position back at the company. This included a considerable raise and other perks. He talked it over with his wife, family and friends as well as the head of the company and decided to take the position. As time passed, the company reneged on its promises creating an uncomfortable working environment. The person left the company with bad feelings. The decision he made did not provide for good results but the process he went about making the decision was healthy. Unfortunately, the outcome of the decision was depending on other party’s good faith and abilities.
Instead of completely relying on results, access the process and effort you are putting in. Objectively evaluate what you can do differently. Accept your limitations of being human. Understand you are not able to control others and their decision making process. This will allow you to feel less guilty and free to make healthy choices. The recognition of your limitations in resolving the problem, will free up emotional energy to focus on decision making or maintenance.
Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-35997522490313028942012-09-15T10:40:00.001-05:002012-09-20T14:22:49.024-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer to: Why do I hate myself and how do I stop?
<b>Why do I hate myself and how do I stop?</b>
Why you hate yourself is not important as to what to do about it. Often times, individuals find themselves in a bad spot. How they got could be influenced by genetics, life events, childhood upbringing, and/or current relationships(family, friends,work). Rather then focusing on the why's, invest your energies into changing thoughts and behaviors that are allowing you to struggle. <a href="http://www.quora.com/Mark-Myers-3 ">more</a>
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Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-72522333892508137582012-08-26T20:09:00.002-05:002012-09-20T14:23:25.565-05:00Ten Ways to Prep for Back To School Success<a href="http://www.greatschools.org/back-to-school/?cpn=20120826weeklysend"></a>
Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-87354459380948945242012-08-21T07:48:00.001-05:002012-08-21T07:48:42.617-05:00Myers Counseling Group Solutions: Mark Myers Expert Answe to: How Can a man Who Doesn't Trust Anyone find A Girlfriend-Wife?<a href="http://www.myerscounselinggroup.blogspot.com/2012/08/mark-myers-expert-answe-to-how-can-man.html#links">Myers Counseling Group Solutions: Mark Myers Expert Answe to: How Can a man Who Doesn't Trust Anyone find A Girlfriend-Wife?</a>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-53484616511927092832012-08-21T07:25:00.001-05:002012-10-16T15:52:04.338-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How Can a man Who Doesn't Trust Anyone find A Girlfriend-Wife?Mark Myers expert Answer to: Dating and Relationships: How can a man who doesn't trust anyone find a girlfriend/wife? The fact that you see this issue as your problem,that is a good start. Often times individuals with trust issues may blame their struggles on others(women cannot be trusted) rather than themselves(I have a trust issue). I would first suggest recognizing behaviors and thoughts that would reflect your trust issues. This could be done by writing down thoughts throughout the day. At days end, go back and review your journaling. It is important to start recognizing unhealthy thoughts("Woman cannot be trusted) and behaviors("I need to check up on her") and begin to replace them with healthier thoughts/behaviors .Once you give credibility to your mistrust thoughts, you start losing the battle.
Initially there are going to be struggles. Just like a lot of issues, hard work and consistency could break this pattern. I would suggest having an outside source be able to give you objective feedback. In most cases, this would be a therapist who works with a Cognitive Behavioral or Solution focused approach.Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-84299553677069181412012-07-12T22:14:00.000-05:002012-09-20T17:03:20.724-05:00Law Battles Synthetic DrugsPresident Obama signed the Synthetic Drug Abuse Prevention Act of 2012 into law on July 9 as part of S. 3187, the Food and Drug Administration Safety and Innovation Act. The legislation bans synthetic compounds commonly found in synthetic marijuana (“K2″ or “Spice”), synthetic stimulants (“Bath Salts”), and hallucinogens, by placing them under Schedule I of the Controlled Substances Act. <a href="http://blog.employersolutions.com/law-battles-synthetic-drugs/">click for full article</a>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-63545162087721750822012-06-26T07:52:00.000-05:002012-09-20T17:04:32.274-05:00Students Taking Stimulants Not For High, But For a Higher SAT ScoreHe steered into the high school parking lot, clicked off the ignition and scanned the scraps of his recent weeks. Crinkled chip bags on the dashboard. Soda cups at his feet. And on the passenger seat, a rumpled SAT practice book whose owner had been told since fourth grade he was headed to the Ivy League. Pencils up in 20 minutes.
The boy exhaled. Before opening the car door, he recalled recently, he twisted open a capsule of orange powder and arranged it in a neat line on the armrest. He leaned over, closed one nostril and snorted it.
Throughout the parking lot, he said, eight of his friends did the same thing.
The drug was not cocaine or heroin, but Adderall ......<a href="http://www.theledger.com/article/20120609/NEWS/120609303/1001/business?Title=Students-Taking-Stimulants-Not-For-High-But-For-a-Higher-SAT-Score-">more</a>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-53207261179138960362012-06-06T08:04:00.000-05:002012-09-20T17:05:38.203-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How Does One Deal with a 7 year old who seems to have anger management issues?There are two directions you can approach this. The first is the Anger Management problem... <a href="http://www.quora.com/How-does-one-deal-with-a-7-year-old-who-seems-to-have-anger-management-issues/answer/Mark-Myers-3">more</a>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-39009630497303892182012-05-14T12:03:00.001-05:002012-09-21T16:14:03.166-05:00Mark Myers Expert Answer to: I Am Addicted to Marijuana and Want to Stop."From your description, you have two issues you are dealing with, depression and dependency on Marijuana. Both of those issues should be considered. There is a likelihood, they both may be contributing to each other, creating a feedback loop. If you are depressed you could enjoy the escape that comes from the high. The residual effects of the pot use leave you feeling lethargic, unmotivated, and in a "fog", which contribute to feeling depressed. more <a href="http://owl.li/aTQ8V "></a>
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<br /></div>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-28397187837752910992012-04-23T06:32:00.000-05:002012-04-23T06:32:01.124-05:00My answer to: How do you cope with depression when the cause is your life is stagnant with problems with no solution.......There are different ways a person may become depressed. It could develop can
come from life situations(chronic unemployment, unhappy marriage),
events(death of loved one, divorce), or from physiological origins
(genetics, chemistry). Sometimes it could be a combination of one or
all of the above. Just as depressive symptoms could develop
differently, eliminating depressive symptoms could be approached using
different courses of actions. <a href="http://www.quora.com/How-do-you-cope-with-depression-when-the-cause-is-your-life-is-stagnant-with-problems-with-no-solution"></a>Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1236831287182092759.post-65528720607500327442012-04-20T11:57:00.002-05:002012-04-20T11:57:34.182-05:004-20 and Cannabis useToday is April 20th. This day takes on special significance for individuals immersed in Cannabis use . It is used to identify oneself with Cannabis use culture. 420(pronounced four-twenty) is based on the number as well as the event. Although that are different beliefs of it’s origins, the most consistent theory is the term was first used by a group of teenagers in California. Their designated hang out was a wall outside their school. The term was used for the time of day that they would indulge in marijuana use. The term has evolved into a counterculture holiday in North America, where people gather to celebrate and consume cannabis. The term is used also as code to disguise dialogue from those who do not smoke marijuana.Myers Counseling Grouphttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18130406234407619379noreply@blogger.com