Moment,Relationship, and Death

When someone loses a loved one,typically there is going to be an assortment of emotions that person would need to sort through. The common one experienced,of course,is sadness. Another emotion experienced is regret. This emotion could turn to a self defeating belief,which certainly will complicate the grief process. When an individual passes away, weather sudden or prolonged, the survivor(s) will reflect back on the relationship. Instead of focusing on the relationship as a whole, they would pick a moment in time, usually the last interaction(or close to last)they may have had with the deceased. This moment could be something said or not said or something done or not done. A child may have walked away to take a break and a parent who was terminally ill passed. A couple could have gotten into an argument and the spouse died unexpectantly. The thoughts that evolve from this could impact on how a person deals with he loss."He dies alone", "This is the last moment we had", "I never said how much she meant to me". These are all passages in time the grieved could dwell on. In reality, there are very few story book closures we can have. If the relationship was significant, true closure may not happen for a time after death. Naturally we want to squeeze every moment we can out of significant relationships. However, it is important to focus on the relationship as a whole. Focusing on a part of it is truly not reflective on the relationship as a whole. One quiz does not make a grade, one report does not make a career, and one interaction does not define the relationship.

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