Cause and Effect in Relationships

Cause and Effect and Mental health


Human nature is to want to know the reasons for why things happen. It helps us understand or make sense of an event and the world around us. This is important in our relationships and daily life. If we do not  take into consideration the full ramifications of our decisions, we will run into problems later down the road. Individuals struggle with this concept in their day to day lives. They do not take into consideration that certain events will transpire from their actions or the actions of others. An example of this is a husband who complains that his wife is too dependent on him and that she is clingy.  As a result she develops more friends and spends less time with him.  Consequently, he complains about being left out.  Another example would be a teenager who does not hand in his/her homework and complains about her grade.

In the science community, it is called The theory of Cause and Effect.  This is used to explain the relationship between two events: one which is the cause and other which is the effect of the previous action.  A causes B.  It is used a way to research information and theories and is the basis for discoveries in the scientific community.  There are many cultural and religious references  in regards to this concept.  In regards to relationships, actions or cause(husband’s request for wife to become independent) creates a response or effect(wife seeking out new friends and spending less time with him).

Another type of theory that could be looked at in regards to relationships is a spurious relationship or event. This is when a cause and event (effect) happens, and another event is falsely attributed to it. There is a something else that affects the outcome and another event is erroneously connected to it. An example of this is a husband who drinks in excess(event) and blames his drinking on his wife complaining(cause).  If we look at this from a logical perspective, there is another cause or reason behind his drinking. He is attributing his drinking to a unrelated or spurious event. Another example is a student who does not hand in his homework (cause) receive a bad grad (effect) and blames it on the teacher being mean(spurious relation). This challenge could present itself in many different ways. It is helpful to identify spurious relations in our struggles.

There are several factors that could impact on how this plays out in relationships and decisions.  A person’s history(growing up and past family interactions), self esteem, problem solving abilities, and decision making.  When making major decisions, it is important to step back and look at what events most likely will fall into place after the decision.  Equally important, to understand spurious relations and how you may accept or assign responsibility in decisions that have no impact on the initial decision.