Mark Myers Expert Answer to: I Am Addicted to Marijuana and Want to Stop."

From your description, you have two issues you are dealing with, depression and dependency on Marijuana. Both of those issues should be considered. There is a likelihood, they both may be contributing to each other, creating a feedback loop. If you are depressed you could enjoy the escape that comes from the high. The residual effects of the pot use leave you feeling lethargic, unmotivated, and in a "fog", which contribute to feeling depressed. more

A codependancy issue: Engaging in addictive dialogue

Addicts enjoy the the feeling of getting high, weather it be drugs or alcohol. They also enjoy the function it may serve(feeling more comfortable in social settings, enjoying the escape, etc.). It is safe to say that a good portion of addicts would continue to use if outside influences(family, legal, employment)didn't make it more uncomfortable for them to use. The impact of their use must outweigh the benefits derived from their use, otherwise there would be no incentive to stop.

Family members forget this when they are discussing their significant others substance use. They allow themselves to engage in an addictive dialogue. Addictive dialogue is any discussion that detracts from the dependent's substance use and impact of it. Discussion turns onto other areas, or areas that would hold him/her less accountable. Examples would include: shifting blame("if you didn't nag I wouldn't drink so much."), avoiding accountability("I will not drink as much","I will cut back.") minimizing("I know plenty of people who drink more.) or other misdirections. The more gray area an addict can create in the discussion about their use, the more likelihood they can continue to use. Family members could get more focused on the discussion and avoid addressing the actual use.

It is important to not allow subjectivity to be a factor in addressing use. This would especially hold true if the subjectivity is the addicted persons. Shift more of a focus on measurable or objective discussions. An example would be an addict saying they will be cutting back. That is a gray area. Cutting back how much? If someone is drinking a case a beer a day, forty beers a day is cutting back. A statement such as "I will not drink at all" is more realistic to gauge. Another example is discussing the belief about legalization of marijuana with an adolescent detracts from discussing his or her using. If as a parent you do not want your youth using mind altering drugs, the legalization of it is irrelevant. Stay in a black or white focus. The clearer you are in your expectations, the easier it will be for the addict or alcoholic to stay on track. Once you start engaging in a addictive dialogue, the greater the chance the addicted person will be less accountable for their actions.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: "I'm overwhelmed and tired these days, and never seem to have time to take care of myself. I'm also low on social contact, as my responsibilities are intense. Can anyone offer ideas on how to break out of this box?"

"My situation includes being (temporarily) a single mother to two mentally ill children, a financial crisis, a husband in rehab and a lack of relatives to help with the above. Eeek."
There appears to be more demands on you then resources. Lets start with your children. Depending on the ages of your children and the mental health issues they are experiencing, getting support in this area is extremely important.

Chicago aldermen OK ban on synthetic cocaine

Chicago aldermen today approved a measure that would ban the sale of synthetic cocaine within the city and levy fines of up to $1,000 on retailers who violate the ordinance.

Under the measure, set for a Wednesday vote by the full council, businesses also could see their licenses suspended or revoked for selling the substances, which have become more common in recent years.

Sometimes euphemistically called bath salts, or labeled with monikers such as “8 ball” or “herbal sachet,” the substances labeled “not for human consumption” are snorted, said Cara Smith, deputy chief of staff for Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan.

Mark Myers expert Answer to: Is it up to the person to decide if his habit is an addiction and a problem?

For a person to be diagnosed addicted, it does not require his or her acknowledgment of the problem. However, to meet the criteria of being dependent, according to DSM IV-TR(reference source used by the medical and mental health community to diagnose mental health and substance abuse problems), that does rely on some subjective acknowledgment of the symptoms.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How do I handle being married to an addict / alcoholic who refuses treatment?

The decision to stay or leave your relationship is not an event but a process. This process is going to take a lot of work. For significant others, there is no clear indicator to let you know when enough is enough. Addicts/Alcoholics will make promises about quitting, minimize the impact and extent of their use, cut back for short period's of times, and show you the person that you knew before the addiction took over, believing change could happen.

Mark Myers expert Answer to: Are certain people more likely to become addicts and why?

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: Are certain people more likely to become addicts and why?

Many Addictsneed to Hit Rock Bottom

Ron Kanwischer remembers the minute he knew he needed to stop smoking.  It was 1986, after Kanwischer had been a smoker for years, and his 3-year-old daughter began coughing while riding in the car that day with her father after he lit up.    more

Addictions raise Problems for People Over 50

Drug and alcohol addiction is tough for anyone to deal with, but for people over age 50, dealing with addiction offers its own unique challenges.  more

Are strong people more prone to addictions?

Myers Counseling Group expert answer on Quora.com

There are no studies that support whether or not stronger people are more or less prone to addiction. There are many factors involved in more                            

Relapse Versus Return to Use

USING EPISODE

A using episode (either drug or alcohol) could be defined as either a relapse or return to use.  For the individual, it is possible that at some point they may move from one to another.  What helps distinguish the difference is prior to the using episode is how would they categorize themselves(relapse or return to use), and how they view the using episode after the fact.  It is common for a person to start building up to a change in commitment about being abstinent. For example, a week prior to use they are committed to avoiding use.  However, through a series of events, they change their commitment and use.  There are some areas listed below to help distinguish where a person may currently be in regards to abstaining from drug and alcohol use.

RELAPSE

Thoughts: “ I don’t want to use,” “I want to stop” “ my use is a problem,”  

Behaviors: Making an active commitment to avoid use, conscious of using situations.   

Motivation: High.  Does not want to use.

Attitude after use: “ I was making an effort to stop and messed up, “ I did not anticipate problems.”

Emotions after use: Feel guilty


DECISION TO USE

Thoughts: “Using is no problem,” I want to cut back but not stop,” “it is okay to use every now and then,” “my use is not a problem.”

Behaviors: No changes from when first using, actions geared more toward hiding use then stopping use.

Motivation: Low.

Attitude after use: “I got caught,” “ No big deal.”

Emotions after use: Irritated. Awkward

When an using episode occurs, it is important to evaluate where you see yourself. If you view yourself presently as seeing the episode as a relapse, effort would need to be focused on relapse prevention.  If you see yourself in the decision to use column, effort would be used to reexamining the costs and benefits to use, including what brought you into therapy in the first place.