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“Men are disturbed not by things, but the view which they take of them.”
1st century A.D. Epicieus,
It is not the event, but rather our interpretation of it that causes our emotional reaction.
A. Activating Experience
Woman friend breaks the news that she is going out with another man, and therefore wants to break off the relationship with you.
B. Belief about (or interpretation of the experience)
“ I must really be a worthless person.”
“I’ll never find another great woman like her.”
“She doesn’t want me therefore no one could possibly want me.”
and/or
“This is awful.. Everything happens to me.”
“That witch! She shouldn’t be that way.”
“I can’t stand the world being so unfair.”
C. Upsetting emotional consequences
Depression and\or Hostility
D. Disputing of irrational ideas
“Where is the evidence that because this woman wishes to end our relationship, that I am worthless person: or that I’ll never be able to have a really good relationship with someone else: or even that I couldn’t be happy alone?”
and\or
“Why is it awful that I’m not getting what I want?” “Why shouldn’t the world be full of injustices?”
E. New emotional consequence or effect
Sadness: (“Well, we did have a nice relationship, and I’m sorry to see it end-but it did have it’s problems and now I can go out and find new friends.”)
or
Annoyance: (It’s annoying that she was seeing someone else but it isn’t awful or intolerable.”)
