Mark Myers Expert Answer to: Why do I get agitated by things outside of my control

There are several disclosures that you have made that indicate agitation is not the only issue. Insecurity and unhappiness appear to be issues as well. My guess is that this is something that did not suddenly appear. It most likely was a work in progress. Family history, life experiences, relationships, and your physiological make up all got you to wear you are now. Habits, beliefs, and attitudes have probably been developing for awhile. The positive(click for more)

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How Does One Deal with a 7 year old who seems to have anger management issues?

There are two directions you can approach this. The first is the Anger Management problem... more

Mark Myers Video on Anger Management For Youth

Myers Counseling Group presents Anger Managment

For Youth video.

Myers Counseling Group Summer 2011 Group Schedule

Greetings!

Myers Counseling Group wishes you warm summer greetings.  We are pleased to announce our Summer 2011 Group schedule and some new features on our website.  Myers Counseling Group have included that information in this update.  If you have any questions about our groups or general information, please contact: Mark Myers (815) 308-3368 or markm@myerscounseling.com.

Children's Therapy Group

Children's Therapy Groups are available for children ages 4-7, 8-10, and 11-13 with ADHD, behavioral, emotional, developmental, or situational challenges. It is an 8-week group focusing on improving social skills, coping strategies, and problem-solving skills.  The group uses engaging activities to teach new skills each week with complementary activities to practice at home, in community and school settings. It is our goal to facilitate the use of new skills beyond the group experience. The group will be starting Thursday June 23^rd, 6 p.m. to 6:50 p.m. and runs for eight consecutive Thursdays.  The cost of the group is $35 per group.  Insurance, in most cases, could cover this. Contact Mark Myers at (815) 308-3368 ext. 100 or markm@myerscounseling.com

Anger Management Group for Adults

Anger Management Groups are available for adults. This 8-week group covers how and why we become angry and what can be done to manage ourselves in a more effective manner. Stress management, communication skills, and understanding anger triggers are included to help participants develop life-long strategies for anger management. Group activities focus on issues that are appropriate to issues members may be struggling with.  The group will be starting Saturday, June 25^th, 9 a.m. to 9:50 a.m. and runs for eight consecutive Saturdays.  The cost of the group is $35 per group. Insurance, in most cases, could cover this. Contact Mark Myers at (815)308-3368 ext. 100 or markm@myerscounseling.com.

Anger Management

Anger is one of our most common and misunderstood emotions. We experience situations where we become on a regular basis. Getting angry is not necessarily unhealthy or bad. In some situations it could be healthy and productive. Anger has both a physical and psychological response and process. It is seen in babies as well as adults. Anger exists in all cultures, (although it may be displayed differently in each one). Anger is an emotion that could present itself in many different ways. It is our expression of anger that could become a problem. 

The following are indicators that someone is having trouble managing their anger.

· Frequent use of sarcasm or criticism

· Explosive outbursts

· Impaired relationships due to anger

· Withdrawing when angry

· Feeling guilty over anger

· Have hurt people emotionally and

physically) when angry

· Feeling out of control when angry

· Have a difficult time calming yourself

down when angry

· Significant others complain about

your anger

· Physical problems such as: ulcers,

hypertension, heart disease, gastritis,

and colitis.

· Complaints at work about anger

episodes

Consequences of Anger

When anger is mismanaged, the problems it can create could vary. Often physical problems such as ulcers, high blood pressure, and gastro problems could occur. Other problems such as social and relationship problems, occupational problems, and law problems could also present themselves.

Functions of Anger

When trying to figure out destructive anger, it is important to realize that anger could serve many functions for us. Examples include: getting our way through anger episodes, feeling superior to others, feeling powerful, expressing thoughts (especially hurt), discharging excessive energy, remaining a victim (not taking action but focusing on what is making you angry), and increasing production and motivation. In order to change the way

you deal with your anger, you need to be willing or motivated to change. This would involve giving up the advantages you experience when angry.

How Anger Works

Anger may be the result of a sudden situation we encounter, such as a traffic incident, or a chronic buildup of events.Often times when we find ourselves getting angry, we are reacting to a stressful situation as threat, real or perceived. This is often referred to as the Fight or Flight response. This response lies in the primitive part of

the brain. Our bodies react as if in a state of emergency. Increased hormonal production, adrenaline, blood

and oxygen flow to the major muscle groups, and increased heart rate, are among the many physiological

responses we have when angry and stressed.Our interpretations of events are important factors in determining anger outcomes. 

One individual may perceive a situation as a threat while another may not. This perception could be based on several factors including: previous life experiences, behavior patterns learned while growing up, coping abilities, and current life situation. These past experiences shape our reactions to events today.

Environmental factors could impact upon our anger management. Peer groups and cultural factors are

influences we need to consider. If people around us mismanage their anger, we may find it harder to control

ours. Other life challenges such as depression or stress are considerations we need to take into account as well.

Managing Anger

One of the first tasks involved in managing anger is developing awareness of anger patterns. By keeping an anger record, we develop more insight into our anger patterns. The more awareness we develop regarding

our anger, the more opportunity we have to intervene in the anger process. This awareness would include recognizing physical warnings of anger build ups, thought processes that contribute to anger, and a

lifestyle that contribute to anger problems.

Anger Thought

Thought processes contribute to anger. We need to begin to develop alternative ways to look at situations. It is helpful to identify beliefs that contribute to our anger states. This allows us to use other thoughts to interpret the event differently and provide a different, more rational thought process to take over. It is also important to incorporate humor into your life. If you take events less seriously, you may find yourself viewing a lot of situations with a lighter frame of mind.

Lifestyle Changes

By maintaining a healthy lifestyle, we are promoting a positive environment for ourselves enabling us to focus more on our anger problems. This would include: good sleep habits, supportive relationships, good nutrition, and regular exercise. Communication skills are important tools to use with anger problems. Learning to communicate our thoughts in less destructive ways not only derails anger blowups, but also improves the quality of our relationships. When we become more aware of our anger buildup, we could utilize delay tactics.

Walking away or changing topics are effective delay tactics. Also, when we recognize the physical buildup of anger, techniques such as relaxation, visualization, and deep breathing could be very effective. We cannot escape from anger. This is a natural human emotion. However we are able to control anger. If you have continual problems in managing your anger, discuss this with your therapist.

10 Anger Management Techniques

1.  Attempt to predict situations in which you get angry in.

2. Slowdown…. .. When you are angry your body is in heightened state (flight or fight).  Allowing this to build up makes it more difficult to stop anger episodes.  Picture yourself going downhill.  The further downhill you get, the more difficult it will be to stop.

3.  Challenge the thoughts that got Challenge the thoughts that got you to the state of anger.  Are they rational?  Can you look at same situation and come up with different conclusions.

4. Distract yourself… the longer you mull over the incident the more likely you are revisiting the situation that got you angry.

5.  Take deep, slow breaths.  This allows your body to step back from heightened state.

6.   Evaluate your sleep.  Poor sleep could contribute to anger problems.

7.  Involve yourself in a physical pursuit.  Martial arts, running, and weight lifting are just a few that may help direct your anger in a more constructive way.

8.  Start the day with a daily affirmation.  Starting on a positive thought could help with your commitment to going through the day managing your anger.

9.   Walk away.  Staying in anger situation could further exasperate your feelings.

10. Listen to music.  This could have a calming effect and take your mind off situation that is angering you. 

How can I manage my anger?

When anger is mismanaged, the problems it can create could vary. Often physical problems such as ulcers, high blood pressure, and gastro problems could occur. Other problems such as social and relationship problems, occupational problems, and law problems could also present themselves.
When trying to figure out destructive anger, it is important to realize that anger could serve many functions for us. Examples include: getting our way through anger episodes, feeling superior to others, feeling powerful, expressing thoughts (especially hurt), discharging excessive energy, remaining a victim (not taking action but focusing on what is making you angry), and increasing production and motivation. In order to change the way you deal with your anger, you need to be willing or motivated to change. This would involve giving up the advantages you experience when angry.

Managing your anger involves rethinking the way you look at problems, creating more awareness to patterns to your anger, utilizing relaxation techniques, and making lifestyle changes.
We cannot escape from anger. This is a natural human emotion. However we are able to control anger. If you have continual problems in managing your anger, discuss this with a therapist.