Mark Myers Expert Answer to: Why is saying "I'm sorry" a sign of weakness to some?

Apologies, are not a sign of weakness. In fact it takes courage and confidence to acknowledge you did something to warrant an apology. Humans make mistakes. Admission of error(s) acknowledges that you are taking responsibility for your actions. This demonstrates to others(employees, children etc.) good role modeling.

A codependancy issue: Engaging in addictive dialogue

Addicts enjoy the the feeling of getting high, weather it be drugs or alcohol. They also enjoy the function it may serve(feeling more comfortable in social settings, enjoying the escape, etc.). It is safe to say that a good portion of addicts would continue to use if outside influences(family, legal, employment)didn't make it more uncomfortable for them to use. The impact of their use must outweigh the benefits derived from their use, otherwise there would be no incentive to stop.

Family members forget this when they are discussing their significant others substance use. They allow themselves to engage in an addictive dialogue. Addictive dialogue is any discussion that detracts from the dependent's substance use and impact of it. Discussion turns onto other areas, or areas that would hold him/her less accountable. Examples would include: shifting blame("if you didn't nag I wouldn't drink so much."), avoiding accountability("I will not drink as much","I will cut back.") minimizing("I know plenty of people who drink more.) or other misdirections. The more gray area an addict can create in the discussion about their use, the more likelihood they can continue to use. Family members could get more focused on the discussion and avoid addressing the actual use.

It is important to not allow subjectivity to be a factor in addressing use. This would especially hold true if the subjectivity is the addicted persons. Shift more of a focus on measurable or objective discussions. An example would be an addict saying they will be cutting back. That is a gray area. Cutting back how much? If someone is drinking a case a beer a day, forty beers a day is cutting back. A statement such as "I will not drink at all" is more realistic to gauge. Another example is discussing the belief about legalization of marijuana with an adolescent detracts from discussing his or her using. If as a parent you do not want your youth using mind altering drugs, the legalization of it is irrelevant. Stay in a black or white focus. The clearer you are in your expectations, the easier it will be for the addict or alcoholic to stay on track. Once you start engaging in a addictive dialogue, the greater the chance the addicted person will be less accountable for their actions.

6 Tips for Better Facebook Parenting

Recently, many people chimed in about the “Laptop Shooting Dad‘s” reaction to his 15-year-old daughter’s Facebook posts. Not only is the subject of social media parenting popular, but his stunt has surpassed 30 million views on YouTube.

While it’s evident that we live in a country of extremes — parents who use guns to make a point vs. parents that find this version of parenting horrific — the bottom line is that we all struggle to find the right balance when helping our kids through their tumultuous teen years.

During a recent #theonlinemom Twitter chat, nearly 400 parents weighed in with what they believed to be fitting alternatives to shooting nine bullets through a laptop. For instance:

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: "I'm overwhelmed and tired these days, and never seem to have time to take care of myself. I'm also low on social contact, as my responsibilities are intense. Can anyone offer ideas on how to break out of this box?"

"My situation includes being (temporarily) a single mother to two mentally ill children, a financial crisis, a husband in rehab and a lack of relatives to help with the above. Eeek."
There appears to be more demands on you then resources. Lets start with your children. Depending on the ages of your children and the mental health issues they are experiencing, getting support in this area is extremely important.

Observations Observations [RSS feeds for Observations] Opinion, arguments & analyses from the editors of Scientific American Observations HomeAboutContact Smoke and Mirrors: Driving While High on Marijuana Doubles One’s Chances of a Serious Car Crash

Booze is behind an estimated 2.1 million car accidents each year in the U.S.—which cause almost 11,000 traffic fatalities annually. But many drug users have claimed that a few puffs of pot before getting behind the wheel are perfectly harmless. A new study, however, shows that drivers who smoke marijuana within a few hours of hitting the road are almost twice as likely as stone-sober motorists to be in a crash that results in serious injury or death.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: I'm pretty sure that I have a mild case of depression and it's affecting people around me. How can I rebuild my relationships with them?

Depression could have different points of origins. An negative event... a loss of job, divorce, or other event transpired that causes you to be depressed. There could also be a situation in life that you are in that makes you feel depressed... unhappy marriage, unfulfilled job or health problems are some examples. Lastly, there could be a physiological cause of your depression. Life could be going well but you just feel depressed.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How can I overcome all fear?

There certainly can be some adjustments made to how you think about yourself. There is serious self doubt and negative self concept you have going. I am sure this is evident when people talk to you. Logically, for people who have poor self images, they present themselves in the same way they feel.

Mark Myers expert answer to:

To live fearlessly is to live recklessly. Some degree of fear is not only normal but healthy. Just like any other human emotion, it gives us a signal and tells us something about the environment we are in. To live with out fear totally, is not only dangerous but improbable.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: Should you be pessimistic about relationships that move too quickly?

For relationships that develop "quickly" I believe some degree of caution should be in order. Since quickly is a subjective term, it would be nearly impossible to establish a measuring stick of what is "too" quick. For some people, if they have had some relationships in the past and know what they are looking for, the courtship process may move more swiftly in than for other relationships.

Shortages of ADHD Medications

Are you experiencing difficulty in getting prescriptions filled for ADHD medications

such as Adderall, Metadate, or their generic forms?

Earlier this week,.

10 Tips for Deciphering Diet and Nutrition Claims [Excerpt]

Editor's note: The following is an excerpt from the new book Coffee Is Good for You: From Vitamin C and Organic Foods to Low-Carb and Detox Diets, the Truth About Diet and Nutrition Claims (Perigee, 2012), by Robert J. Davis, who teaches the Emory University's Rollins School of Public Health.

Trying to make sense of the seemingly endless stream of food and nutrition claims can be overwhelming. Remembering the following 10 rules will make the task easier and allow you to stay focused on what's really important:

Work Stress Causes 10 Percent of Strokes

Mental stress at work may increase the risk of stroke, a new study says.

The results show that among men in middle and high social classes, those who experienced psychological stress at work were about 1.4 times more likely to have a stroke than others who did not.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How do you get someone with bipolar disorder to understand their diagnosis?

The intensity of bipolar symptoms are different from person to person as well as one portion(depression or mania)of the illness presenting itself more clearly than another. A diagnosis is difficult to determine at times, even for professionals. In order to accurately diagnose someone, professionals are dependent on either the patient's or others interpretation of symptoms. The mania portion of the illness is at times mistaken for anxiety.

Virtual Infidelity: Are You Guilty Of It?

Is a person really cheating on their spouse if the relationship never gets physical? Is it possible to have an online affair that goes too far?

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How do I handle being married to an addict / alcoholic who refuses treatment?

The decision to stay or leave your relationship is not an event but a process. This process is going to take a lot of work. For significant others, there is no clear indicator to let you know when enough is enough. Addicts/Alcoholics will make promises about quitting, minimize the impact and extent of their use, cut back for short period's of times, and show you the person that you knew before the addiction took over, believing change could happen.

7 Tips to Avoid Family Holiday Travel Tension.

Ah, the holidays. It's filled with joyous moments where family gathers to share food, fun--and

generally tries not to get too annoyed with one another.
Flying or driving to that Thanksgiving dinner can be stressful enough. But then there is the added extra stress of cramming into Grandma's one-bedroom condo in Florida or staying with the overbearing in-laws for for longer than you'd care to.


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Could zapping the brain with magnets help you overcome aggression and social anxiety?

Our emotions can be controlled by stimulating the brain with magnets, scientists have revealed.
A study using magnetic stimulation (TMS) found people could not control their impulses as much when the front part of the cerebral cortex was less active.
Experts believe it could be used to help people overcome strong urges to avoid social situations, such as a party.

Focus on the Behavior, Not the Argument

A parent's job is to teach, guide, direct, and protect their children. At times, this job

description may require different actions on a parent's part when it comes to addressing the needs of their child. For example, if a child is staying out past curfew that would be a directing moment(when to come home and what consequences will be if late) more than a teaching moment(explaining the dangers and problems of staying out late). Furthermore, the longer the discussion goes on about the why it is important to obey curfew, the longer the child will feel this expectation is negotiable. Children do not have to agree with a rule, just understand the need to follow it. The longer you get caught up in the argument, the less effective you will be in addressing the behavior.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: How can I become a happier person?

Happiness is an individual and subjective experience. How someone defines it and views it, is what happiness is to them. A moment of happiness for a teenager or adrenalin seeking adult could be a going down a high thrill roller coaster ride. For others (those of us more ground based) this could be a very unpleasant activity. There is not one universal accepted experience or state of mind that defines happiness. An individual concept of happiness is formed by subjective interpretations of events and expectations set forth by themselves or others.

Mark Myers Expert Answer to: What is the best way to help a friend who is suffering from professional burnout

The first step is trying to educate him that he/she is experiencing "burn out." Does your friend

identify feeling burnout. Some of the classic symptoms include: feeling a loss of control over work environment, dreading going to work, anxiety over work situation, negative attitude about work, working long hours and still not feeling caught up, feeling unappreciated, and talking about work in a negative context. This could personally impact on someone in the following ways: sleep difficulties, anxiety, feeling hopeless, depression, family relations, personal relations, and even physical symptoms.